a marriage of art and atrocity.

Too often, it seems, I let my judgment become impaired by my good/caring nature. Instead of trying to find good in anyone, and investing trust in people - I should’ve just opened my eyes and followed my brain, rather than my misleading heart. Just about everyone will turn out to be just like everyone before them. That being said, I wish a good handful of people would simply cease to exist. Not for any personal gain, or anything … mostly because they’re just fucking useless.

I lied. There is personal gain involved - it would lower my stress level, immensely. I loathe being stressed to the point where I’m just physically ill with everything, and everyone.  

Do any of my lovely tumblr pals play WoW or Diablo?
Drop your Real.ID in my ask, let’s kill some shit. ;D 

Most of the time.

I think, and I overanalyze. Then I look at everyone in my life and the situations they’ve been in, or the things they’ve put me through. And then I wonder: can you ever really trust another person, completely? Or does everything they say or do have some underlying motive that solely benefits them? While some people genuinely care about the ones they’re close to, most only care about themselves. Some people are just good at covering their tracks; others just feel that they’re so loved and needed, and that much in control, that they don’t need to - they’ll be forgiven for their faults. I say faults (not mistakes) because when you willingly jeopardize the things that are good to/for you, it’s your fault. However, the sad reality of life is that most people will never change, and I don’t think it’s right to keep forgiving people, or accepting these “faults.” It just makes it that much easier for them to continue fucking you over, walking all over you, and taking you for granted. 

Why be someone’s doormat? It’s then that you have to decide who matters to you, and weed out the ones that deserve whatever misery they bring upon themselves. They’re the ones that are losing in the long run, when us good ones disappear. I don’t track people down - relationships, friendships, or otherwise. I generally hold my loved ones exceptionally close. But sometimes, I find myself doubting their sincerity, and wondering why they keep me around only to act like inconsiderate pricks. If all you’re showing me (without actually showing me) is that you want out of my life, then believe it - you’ll be out of my life. It’s very, very easy for me to sever the ties without looking back, as I’m long past the point of forgiveness. 

Just remember: everything you say, or do behind someone’s back - will most certainly come back to bite you. HARD. If all you’re capable of is being selfish, dishonest, rude, disrespectful, and just not giving a flying fuck about anyone’s feelings other than your own - don’t waste my time, or yours. Find someone else to ruin.